I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
