yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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