I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
