I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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