Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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