Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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