yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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