How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
