We should be called the Road Head Warriors
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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