if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
