What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
