Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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