i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
