there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
