Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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