I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
