Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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