he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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