You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
