she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
