dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
