In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Randomize
