WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
