Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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