we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
