So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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