i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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