Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
