bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
