get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
