Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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