I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
