is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
