We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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