My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
