at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
