Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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