i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
