In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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