She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
