Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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