I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
