No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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