her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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