turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
