I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
