I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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