I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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