who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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