so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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