Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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