It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
