At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
